Divorce. The D Word. It is no doubt something that every woman dreads, even as a child. When it does finally occur, the change can cause stress, anxiety, sadness, and in many ways can affect how you see relationships, yourself, and your future.
But you’re single now, just like you were single once before. And whether or not you wanted to be here, one thing is clear – being single does have its advantages. You are free to do, date, see, or experience anything you want. You can be whomever you want to be, start achieving what you want to achieve, and get to know some interesting people in the process.
At times it can feel difficult. But life always throws challenges. No matter how you’re currently feeling, you have the potential to not only handle the divorce, but thrive in your single life.
How to Embrace the Newly Single You
There is no quick pill for becoming a happy single person. But there are several ways to adjust, and to do so in a way that leads to a better future. Consider the following tips:
- Expect Ups and Downs – You WILL adjust to being single. But with that in mind, don’t get overly excited when you feel like you’re adjusting. You’ll have days where you wake up and feel amazing, happy to be single and ready for the road ahead. Then the next day, you can feel like crying and not getting up from your pillow. That’s okay. Accept yourself through this process, and don’t try to force feeling one way or the other. If you prepare for the downs, they won’t be quite so debilitating.
- Learn to Love Yourself – When you’re a couple, the two of you are a single being. There is no such thing as “you” anymore. So after a divorce, it’s time to find yourself again. You’ll have changed. You’ll like new things. You’ll be interested in different types of people. Before you worry about hitting the dating world or starting a new relationship, the most important thing will be learning to start a relationship with yourself, and finding out who you are once again.
- Stay Mentally Busy and Positive – As much as we’d all love to rush recovery from divorce, the truth is that the best way to recover from any sadness is with time. Time heals all wounds. So the question is: How do you help time along? You do this by giving your mind other things to do. Whether it’s learning something new, watching funny TV, or even keeping a radio or podcast on while you try to sleep, if you keep your brain busy (with positive and upbeat activities, of course), your mind will have more time to cope with the change, without allowing it to wander and fall into depression/sadness.
- Be With Friends, Family, and People – Finally, remember that you don’t have to be alone. In fact, there is often this temptation to want to be alone to heal. Resist that temptation. Being with others, talking to friends and family, even going out and spending time around people (like in a class or an activity group) all make like far more fulfilling, and help you feel less alone in your recovery process.
Certainly, recovering from a divorce is stressful. But for every challenge there is a silver lining – a light at the end of the tunnel. Singlehood can be enriching, fulfilling, and a great way to move forward with your life goals. The path to get there can have its difficulties, but over time with the tips above and coaching, you can not only get used to being single – you can embrace it.
If you’re looking for a life coach in Bergen and Hudson counties in New Jersey to support and guide you through life’s challenges and create the life you want, please contact me via email using the contact form.